Night visitor

Last night after I went to bed, I heard little feet on my roof. I thought I had dreamed it, but then it happened again. When it happened a third time, I threw on some clothes and climbed out my window (onto my garage roof) to see what was happening.

There were like 4 little elves with hard hats there. They had levels and meter sticks and calipers. They were measuring the diameter of my chimney.

I asked them what was up, and they said that it was just the standard once every 5 years chimney check up. The had to keep careful records of chimney widths so that they could program Santa Claus' belt to shrink him just the right amount.

I mentioned that I'm Jewish and have no kids, so Santa doesn't come here. They looked at their records again (elves are sticklers for record keeping) and asked "Is this 1533 Lexington Ave, Troy, NY?"

I said "No, that's 3 or 4 cities over that way".

At that point one of the elves looked down and shuffled his feet. Another said "I told you that we should have taken that right. Does anyone listen to me? no of course not..." The third just shook her head, while the fourth said to me "We're sorry sir, we'll get out of your way now."

Then they all got on their scooters and flew away. Who knew that Santa uses metric?